It is strange to think that my first semester of college lessons is complete and a new one has begun. Change is inevitable and that fact is liberating. I never have to be the same person I was yesterday, a year ago, ten years ago; I can be a new person, built upon my experiences every new day of my life. At times in your life, you are compelled to reminisce about how much you have learned over a particularly set amount of time or period of accomplishment. This semester shift summons my attention to the amount of growth I have gone through in a period of a few short months. I realized something while playing "Tiles of the Unexpected" yesterday (The second epiphany I have had via this virtual oracle). Epiphany 1 (as recorded in my journal "Bliss" 4/29/10):
"Life is "Tiles of the Unexpected". No matter how much you try to plan out your next move, only the master games-man knows what lies beneath that first level. You try to match horse-cow to horse-cow and maybe a red smiley crashes in between. Sometimes you just have to learn to let the games-man show you and you'll end up smashing out a whole row where you thought you were stuck. Real life application... stop worrying about finding an occupation, sometimes God just makes things fit together when you're stuck on your own between a ninja and a horse-cow."
This next epiphany reflects everything I've learned this semester. I realized that until yesterday, I never knew how to play Tiles of the Unexpected. My previous strategy had been to get rid of the top layer first with as little movement as possible from the under-level so I could clear my visible path without disturbing any formation. I realized yesterday that by doing this, I got no points or extra bombs in my storage (and in life, no learning experiences)! Only when you allow the formation to change and cancel itself out can you earn points! Before last semester, I was scared of all life had in store for me; it was too unpredictable, uncontrollable, and uncomfortable. I have learned this semester that change is the reason we are alive. It is a tool to refine us, to make us stronger. It allows us to see ourselves as we never could have before and to observe our opportunities with fresh eyes and an open mind. Even though the tiles may shift, you need to go with it, and all the tiles end up canceling themselves out... life will work out; God knows your formula for refinement until he can see His image in your countenance. The question is, how much will you let the refinement do its work?
A list of major things I have learned this semester:
1) My honors life science class taught me how to be critical of things around me. I now know how to not take things at face value, but to research, form my own opinions, and continue researching for the rest of my life. I am now an individual with my own formed opinions, and I am grateful. I learned how to challenge myself.
2) My Archeology class taught me how to rely on the Lord first, and everything will work out. I learned how to exercise my faith and to not run away at the first sign of conflict, but to trust and do. I learned how to trust myself and the spirit.
3) My Psych 1220 class taught me that it is okay to be myself and that there are endless possibilities that will coincide with the person I want to become. It caused me to really think about who I am, what my aspirations are, and who I want to become through my future experiences. I learned how to be myself.
4) Tai Chi. Oh Tai Chi... Tai Chi taught me that it is okay not to be perfect and to let go. When Master Kao told me that I was failing at mid-terms, I went mental; I almost dropped the class because in my mind, it would be better than to learn the lessons and possibly fail at something. I'm so glad I didn't. By sticking it out, I proved to myself that I can do hard things. I learned that once you let go of that needless tension and "need" to be perfect, life can flow, you can be one with yourself and your decisions. I learned of my own strength. I learned how to know myself.
5) In vocal lessons, I discovered my self worth. I realized that there is no such thing as competition, there is only improvement and those willing to do so. I learned that I don't need to give everything away to be excepted, that trust must be earned. I learned how to share myself.
6) Being in the Relief Society Presidency has given me so much strength, and I have learned how to feel the spirit. I have learned how to work for what I want. I have learned how to be a lighthouse. I've learned how to separate my emotions from Heavenly Father's promptings, and I will be grateful for that eternally.
7) With my roommates, I have learned how to cry on a shoulder, and how to be the shoulder for someone to cry on. I see how much I've grown from their influences and how much I have grown for learning how to compromise and communicate.
8) Lastly, I have learned that I am a daughter of God and that I am worth positive things. I now know who I am and will never allow myself to be demeaned or mistreated because I am worth more than that.
For those who would like to know what Tiles of the Unexpected is: http://www.gamesgames.com/game/Tiles-of-the-Unexpected.html
No comments:
Post a Comment